Normal Vs. Not Normal – 15 Questions to Ask

All of us sometimes wonder if we or a loved one is just aging or really showing signs of dementia.  The following questions are common events that may happen as we age.  Are they normal or not normal and how do we determine when we need to seek professional help?  

This quiz is for informational purposes only and is not intended for diagnosis.  Answers may seem to fall into the normal age-related memory loss category more often than not.  If the conditions are repeated often, seem to happen more frequently, or others notice similar conditions or situations, please contact your personal healthcare provider or a dementia specialist to help with further testing and future treatment.  

Family members tend to accept changes, especially when their loved one begins to show signs of aging, but it is important to recognize the signs of early dementia.  The sooner the person with dementia is diagnosed, the better chance the person with dementia will have a more comfortable and better quality of life remaining and family members will be a better support team to help their loved one as the disease progresses.

  1. You notice your father is walking more slowly and reaches for the handrail or chair for support often.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss.

As we age, our bones tend to shrink in size and density.  They become weaker and more susceptible to fracture.  Muscles lose strength, endurance, and flexibility, especially as we become less active.  We move more slowly and place our feet firmly on the ground.  Vision may change as we get older, and we may not read as quickly or may not see the smaller print without help from more lighting.  We may need glasses for clarity or night driving.  Depth perception and balance may also be impacted causing us to feel less comfortable if we don’t have something to hold on going up and down steps, walking around corners or moving in tight spaces.  

  1. The kids and grandkids show up for their regular weekly Sunday dinner — and you completely forgot they were coming.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

Forgetting an appointment or a new task is not a big deal but forgetting something that is a routine and you have done it for a very long time is something to worry about.  We all lose track of time but forgetting routine or habitual activities can be a reason for concern.  Some changes in cognition are normal as we age.  Slower reaction time and reduced problem-solving abilities are to be expected.  The speed in which the information is stored and retrieved slows as we age, although studies show that older adults often score higher on intelligence tests because of their accumulated knowledge and experience.

Forgetfulness of routine activities may be a sign of mild cognitive impairment which may lead to dementia caused by Alzheimer’s disease.  Take time to talk with your loved one and make an appointment with your care provider or a specialist.  Testing can help determine the level of impairment and to suggest the proper course of treatment.  By monitoring the level of impairment through doctor’s care or your own awareness of changes are important to improve or maintain the level of comfort for those living with dementia. 

  1. You are at the local grocery store and run into a familiar face, but you can’t remember her name — until later.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss.

Having a word or name on the tip of your tongue is normal aging.  Prompting or thinking of the item or person brings the name back within a few minutes or even later when you are not trying so hard to remember it.  It’s like entering a room with a specific purpose but forgetting that purpose halfway there.  Retracing your steps or thinking about the activity you were doing often is the trigger to retrieve the correct information.   

When you can’t bring back that memory or you don’t even know what the item is, or not able to recognize family or friends, that is a sign that you need to talk with the doctor for possible cognitive impairment.  In addition to memory loss, speech difficulties, and language pattern changes are often an early sign of dementia. 

  1. You have been watching tv with a familiar person sitting next to you, but when you look up, you can’t recognize him.  You wonder who he is and why he is in your house. 
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

This is not a case of looking at your spouse and seeing how much he has aged.  This is serious when it is difficult recognizing familiar things or people.  An early sign of serious memory loss is not recognizing items, people or yourself.  It’s time to check with your family and make an appointment with your healthcare professional.  

  1. You always miss the turn to get to the grandkids’ regular soccer field.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss. 

Repeatedly missing a turn or misplacing items may be absentmindedness.  Consider using GPS on your phone for directions or establishing a set place for keys, wallet, purse, and shoes.  This is normal and initially not a reason for concern.  Exercises and programs that require you to focus will help with absentmindedness.  

Absentmindedness or gaps in attention may become a more serious cognitive issue if there are associated memory lapses. For example, if you’ve always had an incredible sense of direction but now can’t remember how to get to familiar places, it might be a good idea to visit your healthcare provider or cognitive specialist for an evaluation.

  1. You find your glasses in the freezer, your watch in the flowerpot, or other objects in strange places.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

The first few times this happens may be humorous, but over time, it can become a serious issue.  Occasionally misplacing your keys or forgetting to retrieve an item may just be a sign of multi-tasking or getting distracted and not a cause for alarm.  If you do find you are misplacing items, which is common as you age, you may be able to help the problem with more attention to input, says Ronald Petersen, M.D., director of the Mayo Clinic Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center. Deciding where these things will go and repeatedly putting them in the same place (like mom told you long ago) helps to form pathways that will make it easier to retrieve the items.  If you never developed that habit, it may become harder to retrieve them in the future as our cognitive abilities diminish naturally.

  1. You’re finding it harder to use your smartphone. Apps and functions you use regularly no longer seem to work, and you can’t figure out why.  
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

Forgetting passwords or having trouble reading a tablet or smartphone screen could be due to normal memory loss, visual impairment, or low light.  Technology seems to be growing at a speed we can’t seem to catch up with, especially as we age.  However, if you find that the simplest tasks or common tasks are becoming increasingly harder to complete on familiar devices such as your phone, tablet, or personal computer, it may be an early sign of dementia and a visit to your health care provider is in order.  Increasing difficulty in using a digital device,  an appliance (stove or the microwave). or more complex devices such as the TV remote, could indicate the diminished ability to organize information and solve problems. 

  1. The dessert you always make every Christmas is taking longer than usual to prepare and you need to check the recipe often and really focus on each step.  It turns out ok and is just as good as always. 
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss. 

If the dessert came out OK, it’s likely not a cause for concern. As we age, there are mild changes in our cognitive processes and it may take longer to complete the task or to review the recipe more often, but it is not a concern as it doesn’t impair the ability to perform the task.  If flour was used instead of powdered sugar to frost the dessert, or if brown sugar was used instead of flour to make the gravy, it is time to be concerned and make an appointment with your healthcare provider to determine the level of cognitive decline. 

  1. Your spouse says that you often ask the same question or tell the same story repeatedly.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

Telling the same story to new people you meet is normal but telling the same story within a few minutes is not.  Often, we preface a story with “I may have told you this before…” and that is normal as we age.  Telling the story again with no memory of telling it to the same group of people within the same conversation is a sign of cognitive impairment.  Asking questions like “What day is today?” or “What is the appointment we have today?” are signs of short-term memory loss.  It’s time to talk with your doctor.  Often family members are the first to recognize memory issues, so listen to them and follow their advice. 

  1. Your widowed uncle recently passed away after a long illness. Your mother is his executor and is having a hard time sleeping and seems to be more forgetful.  She can’t remember where she has put his important papers and keeps forgetting conversations with the funeral director.  
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss. 

Sleep deprivation, grief, trauma, and stress can cause temporary memory problems.  Although these memory problems are not dementia-related, they may be a sign of future problems.  These problems can become alarming if sleep patterns continue to be irregular, the grief state remains for an extended time, the trauma is extreme or other issues arise from it, and stress is not relieved by a change in environment or habits. 

Sleep disturbances have been associated with an increased risk of memory loss.  Sleep is restorative, and when it is disrupted, there is a higher chance of increased buildup of toxic proteins in the brain that may encourage dementia.  If the condition continues or becomes worse, talk with them about making an appointment with their healthcare provider for a checkup to ensure their condition is not the beginning of cogitative impairment.

  1. You are constantly turning up the tv volume and your spouse complains it is too loud.  You also notice that you don’t remember hearing recent conversations.  
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of early dementia. 

Hearing loss may be due to aging, but failure to remember conversations may be related to hearing or a sign of early dementia.  Hearing impairment in older adults is often mild or moderate and almost 25 percent of adults between 65 and 74, and 50 percent of adults 75 and older have hearing impairments.  Hearing loss may cause isolation and may increase the risk of dementia.  If you find that you don’t participate in conversations and become less interested in interacting with others, or watching TV, make an appointment to have your hearing checked and check with your healthcare provider to ensure your memory loss is not due to cognitive decline.  Hearing loss has been linked to an increased risk of dementia.  As our hearing declines, many become isolated and do not interact with others socially.  Hearing loss also reduces interest in watching TV, listening to the radio or music , or driving.  Detecting hearing loss early may eliminate or reduce that risk.  

  1. You love to go out shopping and visit with friends, but lately there are days when you don’t see or talk with anyone.  
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning sign of dementia or another illness

This could be a sign of depression, mobility issues, impaired vision, hearing loss or some type of illness.  Make an appointment with your healthcare provider to ensure it is not something physical.  Talk with a mental health specialist to get help with depression.  Have a frank discussion with family or friends to stay in touch.   Visit a dementia specialist to eliminate early signs of dementia.  Isolation, one of the factors that increase dementia risk, can be caused by depression, stress, hearing or vision loss, reduced mobility and physical illness.  Ensure there are no underlying issues that could cause a risk of dementia.

  1. Your mother has always paid the bills on a regular basis.  One day your father tells you that your mother is missing payments and is having a hard time balancing the checkbook.   
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning signs of dementia

Daily or routine activities such as cooking, cleaning, dressing, paying bills, may be impacted by depression, illness or some type of physical condition, but repeatedly having problems with normal routine tasks may be an early sign of dementia and should be evaluated by a healthcare provider.  Frustration may be a factor in not completing routine tasks properly or timely.  That may also add to the inability to perform those tasks.  Gently offer help and allow someone suffering with mild cogitative impairment to accomplish those tasks that are easy for them to complete.

  1. You are always color coordinated and fashionably dressed every time you walk out the door.  Recently you forgot to put on makeup and jewelry.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Normal age-related memory loss. 

Forgetting to put on makeup or jewelry occasionally is not a major concern, however, if they repeatedly forget to apply makeup or put on jewelry, or begin to dress inappropriately, this can become a cause of concern.  As we age, we may forget routine more frequently, but often remember what we have forgotten.  A person with mild cogitative impairment may not know that they have forgotten.  If reminded, they may perform the task, but the action of remembering to perform that task is lost.  If your mother always wore makeup before leaving the house and forgets to put on makeup could also be a matter of not caring to dress up, especially if she feels there is no reason to dress up.  However, repeatedly forgetting to perform routine dressing habits may be an early sign of dementia.

  1. You are gathered with a group of friends and family, and you notice your older brother is staring off into space with a confused look on his face.  You ask what is wrong and he says everyone is mumbling, and he can’t understand what people are saying or follow the conversation.
    • Warning sign of early dementia
    • Normal age-related memory loss

Warning signs if early dementia.

Age can impact hearing, and often people will fade in and out of conversations because they can’t hear clearly.  However, problems with understanding language or following conversations may be early warning signs of dementia.  If his hearing is ok or he currently wears hearing aids, further evaluation for hearing problems may narrow down the cause for his isolation.

Disclaimer: Any information on this site and any linked materials therein are not intended and should not be used as professional advice.  Information, opinion, and references are provided as information resources only and are not to be used or relied upon for any diagnosis, treatment, financial, or tax purposes.  Please consult appropriate professionals for specifics before making any decisions impacting health, finances, or taxes.  Unlocking Dementia and any information on this site expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability for any damages, losses, injuries, or liabilities whatsoever suffered as a result of individual reliance on the information contained within or links connected to this site.

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